Chiefs Do the Right Thing by Cutting LJ.

10 11 2009

Larry_JohnsonIn a day and age where every pro athlete and “celebrity” seems to be getting a free pass, the Kansas City Chiefs’ brass stood up and said “Enough is enough!”

And I am here to say ‘thank you.’

News flash – everyone’s actions have consequences. I am not here to get on my moral high horse, because God knows I have made some pretty crappy decisions. However, I am sick of people getting let off the hook for behaving like a complete asshole – simply because of their God-given talents. If every talented NFL player could strictly get by on their ability, D’Angelo Hall would be a future HOF’er. LJ has acted like an ass, publicly, way too many times. I can only imagine how bad he behaves behind closed doors. Your dad would be a better head coach? Really Larry?? Is that why he was an assistant at the collegiate level? Do the world a favor, and shut up!


NFL Power Rankings: Week 9

4 11 2009


Image copyright of National Football League.

Everyone else is doing it… so why not me!? I hope you enjoy my attempt at saying which team is the best – even though the season is only about half over.

1. Colts – As long as they have Peyton, they will be a great team. Coaches have changed. The results have stayed the same.

2. Saints – Most people’s pick for 1st place. I’m not taking anything away from them, but the Colts play in the more dificult conference – so they are #1 right now. The only bad thing from MNF against the Falcons was the run defense. The dirty birds may have given opposing teams the formula for taking down the Saints.

3. Vikings – Brett Faaaavre is looking like Brett Favre. They have a great D, and AP. Does this really need explaining!?

4. Patriots – They are another team that is flying under the radar this year. And that’s surprising, considering ESPN has a permanent place on the Hoody’s ballsack. You think we would be hearing more about them.

5. Broncos – They got simply worked by Baltimore. Granted it was a road game, but still. You gotta put up a better fight. Show me you can rebound against Big Ben and his boys from S-Burgh.

6. Bengals – The next two weeks will be a litmus test for my beloved Bengals, with games against the Ravens and the Stillllll’rs. I’m just hoping they can split them.

7. Steelers – Is there really a team out there that is playing better football over the last month? I hate them, but I have to give credit where credit is due.

8. Eagles – They just absolutely demolished the team everyone thought was going to win the NFC East. They have rebounded quite well from that dud in Oakland.

9. Cowboys – Despite despising this over-hyped team, they are playing really well. Miles Austin need to show that the past 3 games are not just a flash in the pan. Their three running back are as productive as any.

10. Ravens – They are by far the best 4-3 team in the NFL. They looked like they were on the brink of disaster after dropping 3 straight. This weekend’s battle on the banks of the Ohio looks to be epic.

11. Texans – Yes. You read that correctly. The HOUSTON TEXANS. They’re running the ball well. Passing the ball well. And that defense is flying all over the field. Look for them to contend for a Wild Card birth.

12. Falcons – Did anyone really expect them to go into New Orleans and win against the Saints? That was the biggest game in the Super Dome since these teams squared off in 2006 – and that was the first game there post-Katrina. Look for a big bounce back against a strrrrug-a-ling Skins team.

13. Cardinals – I know what you’re thinking “They just lost at home. To the Panthers!” They are road warriors (3-0 this year). Look for them to make it 4-0 against the Bears.

14. Packers – Despite losing to the Bretts.. errr Vikings, the Pack looked pretty good. They still have major needs along that offensive line. If they don’t shore up those holes, Aaron Rodgers might not make it through the year.

15. Chargers – By far this season’s biggest riddle. They have looked like contenders at times. And turned around and looked terrible the next week. I think they are on the rise, however, and will chalk up another W this week against the Giants.

16. Giants – A loss this week could bring out the torches and pitchforks in the Big Apple. They need a win against the Chargers. It will be interesting to see how they respond to recent adversity.

17. Bears – So they beat the Browns… did anyone expect them to lose that game? This is a team that could take a serious turn in the second half. They looked downright terrible against Cincinnati.

18. Jets – Maybe, just mmmmmaybe, the pundits jumped the gun on annointing Mark Sanchez as the next Broadway Joe? Where has the “Organized Chaos” been as of late?

19. Dolphins – They might not win the division. They might not win a Wild Card spot either. But I cannot think of another team with a losing record that is more dangerous than the Dolphins. They can hang with any team, on any given day.

20. Panthers – Could the offense be clicking after a big win in the desert? If the Panthers could find some consistency (especially Jake Delhomme), they could still be a Wild Card threat in a poo poo NFC.

21. 49ers – What happened to this team? A few weeks back they looked like a shoe-in for NFC West Champs. Can Alex Smith finally realize his potential (and massive paycheck)? I think he already has. Draft a QB this year, and look forward to next year Niners Fan.

22. Jaguars – It’s a sad state of affairs for NFL football in the state of Florida. Weekly blackouts. Rumors of the team moving cities. Del Rio probably will not make it beyond this year.

23. Seahawks – The big acquisition of TJ Houshamizilly has not worked out so far this year. That being said, it’s still the NFC – so you really cannot count any team out just yet.

24. Bills – I think TO is finally getting what he deserves by playing on a team this bad. Not only is he catching passes from Ryan Fitzpatrick, but he is in the media black hole that is Buffalo.

25. Titans – It’s a sad state of affairs to see what Jeff Fischer has been reduced to, as coach. Great guy. He will probably get the axe after this year. But don’t look for him to go without a job for long.

26. Raiders – Things are going from bad to worse, with the latest allegations against Tom Cable. As if this team needed another log on the fire.

27. Redskins – This might be the worst situation in the NFL. They might not win another game this season – with that schedule. An anemic offense. A meddling owner. Petulent players. Disgrunteld fans. It’s not a pretty sight on the banks of the Potomac.

28. Chiefs – Hey! Maybe they will notch a second win against the Jags! ….maybe.

29. Rams – What can you say about the Rams… at least they are not going to go winless this season!

30. Lions – As bad as things are in Detroit, how do you lose to the Rams!?

31. Browns – The phrase “Mistake on the Lake” no longer refers to the city, but the football team that plays there. Great job, Lerner family!

32. Buccaneers – They are keeping the dream alive! Come on Bucc-O’s! We know you can do it! 0-16! You’re almost half way there!

Which Sports Douche Are YOU!?

4 11 2009

Raiders Black Hole

Some serious douche-baggery going on in Oakland.

So we have all been at a bar and/or sporting event, and seen that guy (or gal) that just rubs you the wrong way. You know – the person who you see, and immediately think “God, I hope I never look like that!” Well, chances are, you fall into one of the Sports Douche categories. So here they are, in no particular order of importance or offensiveness.

The Euro-Sports Douche: You tend to find this person in larger cities. Their uniform usually consists of skinny jeans, Puma or Diesel sneakers and the jersey of their favorite soccer or rugby team. They can usually be found absolutely hammered by lunch time – as the games usually air at 9:00 AM, on the east coast. Their waving of their team’s scarf and speaking in foreign tongue, along with their general elitest attitude about soccer make them especially painful to deal with.

The Turbo Douche: The Turbo Douche is more of an east-coast animal (think Eagles or Jets fan), but can also be found in some of the midwestern cities (ah-hemm – Bears). This is the guy who is absolutely loaded at the bar or game, and is looking to fight at the sign of criticism of Mark Sanchez, Eli Manning – or the star of whatever successful team they have currently attached themselves to. They are always the loudest and most annoying fan at any sporting event – and can usually be found throwing punches in a bathroom. There is nothing more pathetic and depraved than seeing two grown men, duking it out over a sports team – on a urine and vomit-soaked floor, no less.

The Corporate Douche: These creatures can be found sitting in the most expensive seats in the house. They are easily spotted by their khaki pants, button down shirt, bluetooth headset, and martini. The “CD” has no idea what the score is, and is usually discussing their latest merger or acquisition. It’s an effing sporting event! Grab a dog and a beer, and for christ’s sake – at least wear your team’s colors!

The Girl Douche: Nothing is more annoying than the girl in the pink or powder blue jersey, acting like she knows what the hell is going on! The Girl Douche is found in cities where the sports team is extremely popular (see the Boston Red Sox, or Jessica Simpson in a Romo jersey). Quit trying to talk about how great Johnny Damon is! He has not played for the Soowwwxxx in 4 years! You are sitting in a seat that any guy on the street would cut off a toe to have.

The Baseball-Glove Douche: I have a simple rule about carrying baseball gloves to games: once you are old enough to drive, you are too old to carry a glove to baseball games. It’s bad enough when you see these people in the outfield, glove in hand, ready to catch a home run bomb from ManRam. However, it’s even more pathetic when you see the guy in to top six seats along the right field line – praying for a small break in the rules of physics – allowing him the chance to flash the leather. Seriously, if you are wearing a glove to a baseball game, you may as well pull out the Sharpie, and write “kid-toucher” on your forehead.

The Halloween Douche: (aka dress-up douche). These guys are most prevalently found in the Raiders famous “Black Hole.” It’s the guy who treats every gameday as if it were Halloween. Nothing says you support you team quite like donning facepaint, shoulder pads, and impaled and/or bleading dolls that represent the opponent. These guys are the heros of their row and section (google “Bengals Storm Trooper” – seriously. Do it. Do it!). However, outside the confines of the stadium, they are someone who probably has at least one screw loose. There is nowhere else on the face of the earth where that style of dress is even mildly acceptable. You wouldn’t even be able to fill up at a gas station without at least one child crying, and one elderly woman clutching her chest.

The Tailgate Douche: Now don’t get me wrong, I love waking up extra early to eat brats and pound some beers. But some people have seriously taken it to a whole different level. Is it really necessary to have a school bus (painted in your team’s colors), with a life-size inflatable goal post, 6 flatscreen TVs, full service bar and 12 foot smoker at your tailgate? If you answered yes, you are a tailgate douche (and probably need to re-evaluate your financial priorities). I will say, these are the best people to be friends with, because their spread is always amazing, and they usually refuse any financial reimbursement you have to offer.

The Glory Days Douche: This guy was an all-star in high school. However, once reality set in, he didn’t even get offers to play on the club team at the local community college. That doesn’t stop him from telling everyone he comes into contact with about two things. (1) He played football – Congrats. So did 75% of American boys. (2) He would’ve called a different play in that situation, because he played football – which makes him more qualified, right!? Take your fat ass and bald head a few seats down, because no one wants to hear you pining for the chance to replay that third down in the 1989 state championship game. Oh how things would be different for you if you just caught that pass. It didn’t work for Belushi in “Mr Destiny” and it’s not going to work for you. Uncle Rico – it was 20 years ago. Move on.

The Schwagg Douche: I don’t know if this is spelled correctly, but you know who I am talking about. These guys/gals might be the lowest forms of fans. Nothing says class like someone who is sitting in $75 seats, losing their mind, trying to catch a ball or tee-shirt that is worth about $5. You’re seriously gonna drop your beer, and take out a row of third-graders attending their first Kid-Glove game, so you can get a teeshirt that is sponsored by Miller Lite? Wow. You MUST be a winner.

I would love to see some comments on this post. So write away if there if there is a sports douche that I missed – or share your story about a sports douche run-in you may have had.

Muddy Waters in the BCS.

1 11 2009

bcsWith so many undefeated teams this far into the season, the BCS critics are practically peeing their pants with giddyness. There seems to be no end in sight to such a flawed system. I’m not going on a diatribe about how to fix this thing. However, I AM going to take a look at the current contenders to try to figure out who will play in the BCS Championship game.


Texas: With yesterday’s destruction of Ok St (on the road, no less) Colt and the Horns appear to be sitting in the driver’s seat. Baylor, Kansas, A&M, and a Big 12 Championship game are the remaining obstacles. Barring a performance reminiscent of 2003 Oklahoma vs. K-State, Texas will be in the Championship game.

Florida: Just clinched their spot in the SEC Championship Game, with Tennessee’s win over Steve Spurrier’s Gamecocks. Games at South Carolina and at home against FSU are the only possible roadblocks prior to the SEC Championship game.

Alabama: LSU and Auburn are always dangerous teams. Bama still has to play both teams this season. Look for them to drop one of these games, but still make the SEC Championship.

Iowa: They have flirted with disaster against some poor Big Ten teams. Their lucky streak ends when they travel to Columbus is two weeks. Ohio State will not collapse, at home, in the fourth quarter (as long as they are playing a team that is not from the SEC, Big 12 or Pac-10). Iowa will be out of the conversation at this point.

Cincinnati: An undefeated team that is blowing the doors off their opponents. Granted, most of the opponents have not been top-tier. The Bearcats have a leg up on Boise State and TCU, Cincy does play in a BCS Conference. If they can knock off WVU at home, and beat Pitt at Heinz Field – they could back their way into the title game. This would give them three wins over ranked opponents, and a win at Oregon State.

Oregon: They vaulted themselves into the picture by knocking off USC. Games at Stanford and at Arizona could prove to be tough challenges – with both teams having histories of pulling off big upsets. Look for Oregon to drop one of these, and be knocked out of the running for the BCS title game.

Boise State: As I see it, they are the least worthy. Yes – they did beat Oregon the first game of the season. Season openers are really toss-up games. Boise has not played anyone since, nor will they play another one good team again this season. They will probably go undefeated, and will go to a BCS game… just not the Championship. Attn Boise – play tougher opponents if you want to play in a championship game (or try to join the Pac-10).

TCU: Another undefeated team who really has not played anyone. Knocking off UVA on the road is not going to help you much this year, with the Wahoos losing to William & Mary in their opener. Look for a tough match-up against Utah. If TCU wins this, there are two scenarios. Best Case – they play in a BCS game. Worst Case – they play in another high-purse bowl game outside of the BCS. Either way, they will not play for a national championship this year. Sorry TCU, wins over UNLV do not count for much. …Unless it’s 1988 and you are playing basketball.

My prediction: as much as I hate to admit it, the National Championship game will be down to Texas and the SEC Champion. I think the only team that really has a chance to spoil the party is Cincinnati. They play two top-25 teams before the season ends. Winning both of those, and losses by Oregon and Iowa, could vault them into the top two or three spaces. Their strength of schedule will be stronger than TCU and Boise (and don’t forget UC is in the Big East). All that being said, I do not think the stars will align for the Bearcats this year. And that’s a shame – because Brian Kelly will likely be gone next year.

Groh’s Gotta Go.

1 11 2009
Al Groh

Frank Beamer thanks Al Groh for another cake-walk victory.

Seriously. This has to stop.

My beloved UVa Cavaliers lost to Duke. At home. Yes – you read that correctly. Duke came into Scott Stadium and bloodied the noses of the Wahoos. Unfortunately, this sort of outcome has been all too familiar with Al Groh at the helm. I am here add my pitchfork and torch to the growing mob.

The University cannot say they are fully committed to excellence in all fields when they have a football team that loses to W&M and Duke on their home turf. And before you go saying “UVA is an institution of academic excellence!” – shut up! Michigan, Cal-Berkley, UCLA, UNC and Florida are considered among the top public universities (along with UVa). All of these schools have strong football traditions and very recent success (okay, maybe not UNC – but I think it’s safe to say that they are a basketball school). Since I started at Virginia, in 2001 (Al’s first year), the most significant moment was an almost-victory in 2004 against The U. UVa was a fumbled snap away from maybe having a game winning drive. A win that could have, possibly, gotten them an ACC Championship. Seriously. That’s it.

Also – it’s not like Al hasn’t had quality players. He has had consistently one of the best offensive lines in the ACC. Additionally, he has had several skill players that are currently playing on Sundays. Additionally, he has had multiple top 25 recruiting classes.

Craig Littelpaige, and the incoming president (whoever he/she may be), must get rid of Groh, bring in a proven head coach or a can’t miss up-and-coming coach, and commit to bringing an ACC championship and a BCS bowl trophy to the University of Virginia. Anything short of that is unacceptable. No more excuses.

How Does Tom Cable Still Have a Job?

1 11 2009

Tom Cable
Tom Cable is a really classy dude. HA!

Just look at the guy. He looks like the high school glory days guy. You know the dude I am talking about – the one who peaked at age 18, and is bald and 30 pounds overweight by age 25. Only – Glory Days does not realize that high school is over, and people no longer respect him. Nor do people find his headlocks and punch-in-the-shoulder routine amusing or worthy of praise. If you think smashing the jaw of string bean assistant coach Randy Hansen was bad – check out what ESPN has recently uncovered.

The article alleges that Cable has a history of violence against women. While these are merely allegations, you would think this would be a perfect time for Al Davis to cut Cable loose. It would be one thing if Cable was the next Vince Lombardi – or even John Madden. Fact it – he’s not. He’s not even in the conversation of being a good coach in today’s NFL. Al – do yourself a favor and kill two birds with one firing. It would get rid of a terrible coach, and show the world that you still have a few shreds of common sense.

Something Stinks in the SEC

28 10 2009

TerrenceCodyCould it be? A conspiracy brewing in the SEC? Lane Kiffin and Dan Mullen were both reprimanded following their critique of SEC officiating during Saturday’s games. (If you are not familiar with the background – check out the story on Miss St and Tennessee).

Ask yourself the question, what good does publicly chastising the coaches do for anyone? If anything, this action raises suspicion that something is rotting in Denmark – errr Birmingham. Could it be that the SEC is trying to keep their two powerhouse unbeaten teams at the top of the BCS poles? Think about the money the SEC conference stands to gain if one of their teams participates in the BCS Championship game (or stands to lose if they are not in the game). I cannot think of any other logical reason to issue a gag order on their coaches.

I have to say – the SEC blew both of these situations, on all fronts. The referees clearly made the wrong call in both the Florida-Miss St game and the Tennessee-‘Bama game. The proper thing would have been to acknowledge that the refs made a mistake (in both games), and move on from there. Releasing said statement would remove all suspicion from the scenario. On the contrary – publicly admonishing two coaches only calls more attention to the situation.